Scott Baio got $14 million to play “Chachi” in a new Happy Days plot, which is a fact.

That’s right. Scott Baio will get more than $14 million to play “Chachi” in a new Happy Days storyline directed by Ron Howard.

Henry Winkler has worked on the new show for over two years. Winkler hired Howard, and Howard asked for Baio right away.

Winkler said no at first because, in his words, “Scott is a bit of a dick.” He’s hard to work with, bothers any young woman under 20, and his politics make him a piece of trash.” These statements, which Winkler made right after the 2020 election, were officially taken back by his agent, Joe Barron, this morning:

Whatever Mr. Winkler said back then was probably said in the heat of the moment and based on what was happening in politics at the time. He can’t wait to work with Scott Baio and doesn’t believe that summer girl.

Winkler told us he didn’t want to say anything, but he’s pretty sure that Baio killed the girl who played Joannie. “However, Ron Howard always gets what he wants.”

Baio’s rep says that the details aren’t clear, but it sounds like he’ll just have to record his lines at home and have his character added with CGI. “They want the young Chachi, and no one will show up to work with him. Scott is totally on board.”

The $14 million is for one season and will be paid out if the show hits a certain number of viewers and if Baio “removes his stupidity from social media.” His spokesman said he would probably give up his rights under the First Amendment because he needs the money, but he plans to get back on as soon as the contract ends.

Patriots, it would be great to see him back on TV. We know nothing else. God bless the U.S.A.